Okay, so, if you're finished laughing your ass off at this tool, let's critique his performance here..
Straight out of the gate, Aaron says "I was at Fort Hood, Texas and I was kinda stationed there".. Ooooh Aaron, Aaron, Aaron.. you don't KINDA get stationed anywhere.. There's orders that have to be filed, paperwork that has to be cleared, you have to be processed from one unit and then in processed to another unit, you don't just "kinda" get stationed anywhere. Until all that paperwork is signed and official, you aren't going anywhere.. Want the truth? He was there for 2 months for his annual summer training for the National Guard. We know this because there is a dating profile where Aaron was looking for a booty call while he was at Fort Hood for 2 weeks for his training. However, Aaron takes this a step further and says he was doing an "Interstate Transfer" to switch over to Active duty. NO SUCH THING.. Interstate transfer is for National Guardsmen who have moved to another state and would like to transfer to another National Guard unit in another state, while remaining in the National Guard. National Guard units belong to the state, and not the federal government, however, when you are Active duty, you belong to the federal government so they can send you anywhere they want, no "Interstate Transfer" needed. They cut orders, you pack your stuff and you report to your new unit. Simple as that.
Aaron then says they messed up alot of his paperwork.. Well, who knows, it is the military, they do mess up paperwork, constantly... Any military person knows this is true. However, any paperwork that would be "messed up" would have been caught before he made his way to Fort Hood, as again, if his story was true, he would have had to been out-processed and discharged as a National Guard member, then sign a new contract to active duty and make a new Oath of Enlistment, had a set of orders cut assigning him to an active duty Army unit so he would have known his new unit before he ever got to Fort Hood (again, if his story was true). Now, had he been assigned to a deploying unit, he would not have been given an option of whether or not to deploy. The military tells you when to wipe your ass, they don't bother to ask if you need to, much less ask if you want to deploy. He says the unit was on 3 weeks notice before starting pre-mobilization training. Sorry, but if the unit hasn't started pre-mob training and you join the unit, you're not given a choice. You go to pre-mob training and you deploy. Never heard of the Army ever asking someone "Well, do you want to deploy? It's your choice". Sure, there are plenty of exceptions of why someone is non-deployable in a unit, but joining a unit before they pre-mob isn't one of them..
Then, we get a huge doozie.. Aaron says he was told they would promote him from E-4 (Specialist) to E-5 (Sgt).. This is one of the funnier moments of this video.. Anyone who knows the Army knows that E-5 is not a "gimme" rank (think "give me") .. A "gimme" rank is not based on performance at all, its basically a promotion you get automatically for time served. You join the service and as long as you don't screw up, then every so often you're automatically promoted to the next rank. This happens until you get to E-4. When you get to E-4, promotion is a whole nother beast.
In order to promote to E-5, three things have to happen:
1) you have to have time in grade (TIG) for E-4 --in this case 8 months TIG as an E-4 and 36 months (3 years) Time in service
2.) there has to be an opening in the unit you are a member of for the rank, as the Government dictates how many E-5s, E-6 ect each unit can have. This means someone either has to be promoted or left the unit in order for a slot to open for someone to move up to that slot..
However, there's one more requirement...
3.) You have to actually go in front of the "Boards" in order to be promoted. This means your military record, along with all your awards, certificates and accomplishments, medals, ect are put before a panel and you are awarded points for promotion. If you get enough points, you are put in for promotion and if a slot opens, hopefully you get it. However, there are various other E-4s also hoping for that same promotion, if they have higher points and more TIG, they get it before you do and you are left waiting for the next slot to open and once again, compete with others waiting for that slot.. you don't just get put in a unit and promoted to E-5 without meeting all of these various requirements.
Anyway, so of course, our "hero" is the big man and he deploys..
How many times have we heard Aaron say he served a 3 month deployment? Just in case you need a lil reminder, here's straight from the horse's (ass) mouth, listen to him say a 3 month tour..
Yet, in the first video, we get to here about Aaron's 6th month tour.. Since the second video is his video for Utopia, either Aaron somewhere sustained a head injury where he's lost track of how long he was deployed (and actually, truth is he was never deployed but more on that later) or he did another 3 month tour since he's been in Utopia.. Reality is, this guy is a liar and can't keep his lies straight for anything and simply says whatever the hell he feels like saying..
Moving along...
Once again, we get to hear Aaron say he was EOD, which is Explosive Ordinance Disposal. The MOS designation for this particular job (MOS is Military Occupational Specialty) is 89D. This is the second time Aaron has said he was an EOD Specialist.. However, poor Aaron forgot to remove stuff from his Facebook in regards to his military career, particularly this.
That picture is for the 266th Quartermaster Battalion out of Fort Eustis, Virginia where Aaron did his AIT (advance individual training). Unfortunately, the 266th doesn't have a high reputation for putting out the best EOD specialists.. Nope, their specialty is Food Specialty Services.. So Aaron went to AIT to learn to be a cook in the military. The only EOD'ing he was doing most likely involved Ass Cannons. Aaron has never mentioned being a cook in the military on the show, nor has he ever mentioned cross training from Food Specialist to EOD so its a safe bet to say that Aaron is absolutely full of mularky.
So now Aaron is deploying.. He says the typical deployment for the Army is 9 months.. I don't think the Army got this memo, as most deployments I know of (for Active duty Army) is 12 months boots on the ground with anywhere from 1-3 months pre-mob training. Other branches do have shorter deployments (the Air Force for example is typically 6 months) but Army is known for its long deployments as well as frequent deployments. Since Aaron's military career was in the time when we still had troops heavily in Afghanistan and Iraq, a 6 month Army deployment would have been almost unheard of. Aaron also says that the time during pre-mobilization training is also part of the deployment which is true to some degree but that does not count time with boots on ground, in country. (This is why you tend to hear of 15 month deployments - that includes Pre-mob, 12 months in country and then demobilization once back in the US).
But, hey, Aaron wasn't in country for 6 months. Nope, Aaron claims to have gotten leave not once but twice. While he doesn't say why he got leave the second time, he does say that the first leave that he went on was for bereavement for the loss of his roommate who died in some freak accident - he says a car accident but then says the guy wasn't in a car but inside a restaurant that a drunk driver ran through and of course it was on his anniversary (Aaron always has a flair for the dramatics). So his NCOIC does Aaron a favor and gets him leave to fly back stateside for the funeral. First problem with this story is that you cannot get bereavement leave for a friend, no matter how close you are to that person. I've known people on deployments that have lost family members such as grandparents who have not been able to come home because it is not immediate family. Immediate family is a parent, a spouse, a child or a sibling. (They will make an exception if a Grandparent raised the military member but that's it).. There's a very specific way this is handled. When a death or event that requires the military member to come home occurs, the family must contact the American Red Cross who determines if it's an event that the military member can return home for. At that point, if the criteria has been met, they contact the unit the member is deployed with and the paperwork is started. There is no way in hell the Army would allow Aaron home for a funeral of a friend and even if his mother or family called the Red Cross about the friends death (which we know she didn't because he said his mother did not even know he was deployed and that people thought he was stationed at Fort Hood and not that he was deployed).
Yet, Aaron says that the NCOIC was a really close friend with the friend who has died. But wait, didn't Aaron join this unit 3 weeks before they mobilized? So was this Aaron's roommate in the unit or was this his roommate back at home in Mississippi? Aaron says they were "like brothers" which tells me he did not know this guy for 3 weeks and would have been a guy (if the guy truly existed) he knew in Mississippi because anyone he met in the unit would have been deployed with the unit. However, Aaron says that the NCOIC was close friends with the guy. How would his NCOIC (who is in Fort Hood and could have been from anywhere in the country) know a guy Aaron is that close with in Mississippi? There's so many holes in this story.
To make this story even more unbelievable, Aaron says he was home for 2 weeks for this bereavement leave. Okay Aaron, this is flat out BULLSHIT.. Typical bereavement is 3-4 days, most I have ever heard is 5 days and that's for Immediate family members.. Bereavement leave is such a whirlwind, you get notice from the Red Cross, within about 36 hours your stateside, you attend the funeral, you spend a bit of time with your family and then you're ass is back on a flight. I guess Aaron got bereavement and midtour R&R mixed up, easy mistake to make WHEN YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT. The type of shit he's talking about is court martial worthy and even being out of the service, the Army could come after his ass for taking advantage of the system (not that he has to worry, as none of his story is true).
Moving along with the video.. Aaron says he went back after bereavement and then was in country for another 2 months. What was the second leave he talked about at the start of the video? He would not have been given R&R as one must be in country for a 12 month rotation in order to qualify for the 15 day R&R and he says his deployment was 6 months (still wondering about this additional 3 months).
And then he "came back home".. simple as that.. his cycle was over with.. can't think of any deployment where you just hop on the plane and instantly you return to your normal everyday life the next day. No demobilization, no briefings. Nothing.. yeah, okay Aaron..
But then, we get into the real nitty gritty of this story.. Aaron of course has to talk about how important he is to the US Army.. Keep in mind the photo above from his days training with the 266th (where he learned how to open cans of industrial size corn and heat it up). Aaron says his job in the military is not like everyone elses.. Of course it isn't Aaron.. Most people score higher on the ASVAB to get a career field to actually train for something beyond re-heating prepared food. I think even Aaron is ashamed of his MOS as he has to not only lie about what he did in the military but he has to make it sound like he's the best of the best. Aaron says "I try not to be very descriptive" when describing his job as an EOD.. Probably because Aaron has no damn clue about being an EOD so saying he can't be descriptive is the only way to cover his ass from saying things that are outright incorrect. Truth be told, Aaron probably watched the movie "The Hurt Locker" and figured he knew enough to bullshit his way through saying he's EOD. Truth is, the closest he has probably ever come to EOD is serving an EOD unit slop out of a field kitchen that his unit provided support for.
Aaron claims to be a "Sapper" for the Army.. Now, I have a decent amount of Army knowledge but I didn't know what a Sapper was.. I asked my friend Gypsy King if he knew and he told me that the term dates back to WWII when people crawled along the ground and found the mines then attached these long tubes together like a water pipe and threaded them all over the mines and then blew the explosives in the "Sapp Sticks" This would clear the mine field and that's why they were called Sappers because they were experts with sapp sticks (Thank you Gypsy). A bit of research on GoArmy.com provides this nice little nugget of information "To wear the Sapper Tab, a Soldier must be a Graduate of the Sapper Leader Course which is operated by the U.S. Army Engineer School at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. The Sapper Leader Course is a 28-day course designed to train joint-service leaders in small unit tactics, leadership skills, and tactics required to perform as part of a combined arms team. The course is open to enlisted Soldiers in the grades of E-4 (in the Army, specialist) and above, cadets, and officers O-3 (Army, captain) and below." Since we know Aaron's MOS in the National Guard was 92G (food services - remember the picture?) and that he joined a deploying unit 3 weeks before they mobilized, it's fair to say there is no way Aaron suddenly went to a 28 day course in order to earn his Sapper Tab.. Once again, Aaron is full of shit... (Are we sensing a pattern here?) I should also mention that Aaron says him being a "Sapper" is like being an Army Ranger.. but they Army describes the role of a "sapper" as "one who may perform any of a variety of combat engineering duties. Such tasks typically include bridge-building, laying or clearing minefields, demolitions, field defenses as well as building, road and airfield construction and repair." .. Ranger school, on the other hand, is an intense 61 day training course that has roughly 366 men in a class, 60% who drop out within the first 4 days. Aaron, you, my friend, are no Ranger and should be ashamed to even compare yourself to one. And i hope that you never find yourself in a dark alley with a REAL RANGER, as they might show you the difference pretty quickly.
At this point, Kristen has had enough. The shit has gotten so deep even she can't handle it anymore and bows out of the conversation and leaves.. Aaron has lost his captive audience. The night is over..
But I'm sure, somewhere soon, Aaron will give us yet another gem to break down and critique.. Stay tuned :)
